When I first learned that my friends Debbie Scheer and Shanna Katz were doing a show together all I could think of was – sign me up! Scheer is HILARIOUS! And Katz is what she likes to call “awkward funny”, with the main subject being queer sex, I know this will be a show not to be missed. So I thought it only fitting to have my first installment in a debuting series called “Conversations with My Community”, be about this incredible event. Truly honest, adult, queer sex education.
So, we sat down and talked about what this show could really mean for people, if they truly give it a chance. This is excerpted from a conversation we had when I interviewed them for Out Front Colorado http://goo.gl/gvYNB1
This is the parts we left out…
Katz; I also [ like Scheer] very much believe sex should be fun and funny and enjoyable… My issue is that, once people turn 18, we don’t try to give them any more education. We don’t talk about communication. We don’t talk about identity.
TLS: They talk about sex from a physical place.
Katz: It isn’t from a pleasure standpoint. I’ve met people that have said I don’t have a clitoris. And I’m like, I don’t know what’s between your pants. But if you are identifying as a cis gender woman, you have a clitoris. You do. It’s just there.
TLS: Face it. This is the reality.
Katz: I had a 60 year old woman come up to me after a G Spot class and say I thought I was peeing on my husband…so we haven’t had sex in 10 years. And she was ejaculating.
TLS: This is why an ongoing conversation needs to happen around sex and sexuality.
Katz: Most gynecologists I’ve hadto educate them around non monogamy, around sex toy safety…something around 90 – 95% of medical schools don’t require any curriculum on human sexuality…so when Debbie came to me about this class, I was like this is what I teach. I’m just not as funny.
TLS: I love that you’re doing this at a bar. I mean, Blush & Blu is the perfect spot. People can have a cocktail, a laugh and get educated all at once.
Scheer: It has to be shame free. And it has to be inclusive. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer to that [even if you’re older]. It’s okay if you’ve wanted to know for 20 years. And you’ve never asked. This is a safe space to ask. And we’re going to give you the information. It’s open to anyone that wants to laugh and learn.
Katz: We don’t have a ton of sex educators in Denver…most of the education out there is very hetero-centric. And while this class is absolutely open to anyone. I find a lot of people that are say, later in life lesbians, have never had the conversation, what does safer sex look like…like what does sex mean? When you as a queer woman say, I want to have sex with you, what does that look like?
TLS: It’s true the negotiations around sex are huge. And everyone has such a different understanding.
Katz: I just finished my book on lesbian sex positions that’s coming out in February. And I have 100 lesbian sex positions. I took this sex positions class. And this educator said that there were really four basic sex positions. After the class, I came up to her and said, you don’t include friction, you didn’t include fingering. Well, that’s not really sex [the professor said]. Maybe for some people, it’s not. In the queer community that could be the main course of sex…there are all of these nuances of sex that aren’t put tab A into tab B.
- Side note: I can’t wait to read this book!
TLS: I never really thought about it like that. Any time that we can openly discuss this in a manner that doesn’t make us feel stupid, doesn’t make us feel juvenile…it can’t be the tee hee hee conversation.
Scheer: That was a non-negotiable for me. I have two young boys. In our house, its medically correct terminology. You say penis, because that’s what it is. We [Katz & Scheer] are in total alignment with that. And for a lot of women, it’ll be the first time, they’ve said that word out loud…you have to practice…then it’s be like saying my elbow hurts. Or wow that eyebrow is just a little bit more crooked.
And there it is, vagina will be just a ordinary as saying eyebrow. Right on!
If you’re in Denver, you’ll be able to catch this show at Blush & Blu, Saturday, January 11, 7:30pm, 1526 Colfax, Denver Here’s the link for all of the info: http://goo.gl/bbeNsn